SAN DIEGO, CA—Carl Watson can’t wait to be finally
vaccinated against COVID-19. “I’m just giddy with excitement,” he told
reporters through a closed-door while wearing a mask. “As soon as I get
both doses, the first thing I’m doing is putting on a mask and going
back home to be completely isolated -- but I’ll be isolated while
vaccinated, so I’ll be even safer!” Watson
is one of the millions of people desperately seeking the vaccine so
they can go on and change no behavior whatsoever. “We can’t let our
guard down just because we’re vaccinated and fully immune to the virus,”
Watson said. “Now I can isolate with an even more focused intensity. I
might start wearing three masks.” While many
unvaccinated people have gone back to living their lives as normal,
those warier of the virus like Watson see behavior like that as
murderous and evil. “Even with the vaccine, there’s still a minuscule
chance I could get it or spread it,” Watson explained. “You never do
things when there is a minuscule chance of harm. That’s why I never
drive a car or take a shower, since I could slip and die. That’s just
being courteous.” Watson may make one trip out after
getting the vaccine: to Home Depot to buy bricks and mortar for the
purpose of immurement. “Vaccinated and permanently sealed inside a brick
wall,” Watson mused. “You can’t follow CDC guidelines any better than
that.” |
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